Why do I always blame myself when things happen to my children? Doesn't matter what it is, I'm great with the beat up stick. Lily was jumping on the tramp about a week and a half ago, and broke her leg.
She was just having fun with dad and maddy, which lead to a big purple cast, alot of tears, and severe guilt from mom...ugh.
If only I had warned them to not jump so high, or maybe if I was out there I would have seen it coming and prevented it, or maybe I didn't give her enough calcium as a toddler, etc, etc.
I understand that things just happen and I can't control it all, so why do I think these crazy things?
Doesn't matter what it is, if my kids mis behave it's because I didn't teach them properly, or even when they are so obedient, and I should feel intense gratitude in my heart, all I can think is.....do my kids fear me? Am I too rough on them? Maybe Thats why they're being so good?
All these crazy thought going through my head, when I really deserve to look at my children in amazement with complete gratitude that they are just experiencing life, because when it comes right down to it..."Men are, that they might have joy". We live in such a magical world, and our bodies and minds are incredible, I want to look at lilys leg and just see the perfection in how her body is truly healing itself, hour by hour, minute by minute.
Gosh....Life is wonderful, I love every minute of it, and what a joy it is to watch my 3 perfect little human beings grow before my eyes...I Know that before I know it, lily's leg will have healed itself, and she will be running around playing again, and this will be a distant memory, but until then it's so hard to watch.
2 comments:
You are so funny! You are the guilt queen! I know I am bad, but you take it to the extreme. Maybe we need a girls weekend to chill out.....miss you tons! :)
Yes, all moms do this. But not to worry, because you are a FABULOUS mother!
Post a Comment